A Lobster Prayer

This week was our last real cooking week of school, with the next two weeks devoted to final projects and exams. Chef had been promising us lobster all semester, and he brought out the big guns on Tuesday: 3 pound lobsters for everyone.

We had a quick lesson on how to “humanely” kill a lobster with the “quick-cut” method (inserting your chef’s knife into the skull and cutting into the beast’s brain). We also learned how to cut the lobster in half and clean it, and how to remove the meat easily (by dunking it in boiling water for a few seconds to release the fibers holding onto the shell).

20 lobsters were sacrificed that day in our honor, but in the worst possible way. These poor creatures were not humanely killed, but instead suffered slow, painful deaths at the hands of novice cooks, in the name of education. In defense of us all, those suckers had thick shells, 1/4-inch thick in some places, and it seemed impossible at times to cut through. As we struggled to cut the shells in half, the lobsters wriggled and kicked and begged for their lives.

OK, so that part of the process I could forgive because we were all learning, and not purposely hacking these lobsters for sport. But, some of the more “mature” students decided to animate the lobsters, turning them into puppets with funny voices. They’ll go far in the careers, I’m sure.

J, on my cooking team, seems to have developed a social habit this semester, and can be found at every other cooking station but his own. His cooking has suffered this semester because of it, and that drives me crazy because the many times we’ve had to cook together, whatever he cooks comes out like crap. Unfortunately, he was in charge of killing the lobster and removing the meat for our team. I was responsible for cooking it.

All prepped and ready to make the lobster themidor, I patiently waited for the lobster meat. Expecting 4 pieces of tail meat and 4 claws, a disappointing mangled mess of shredded lobster meat arrived. I was livid and called him on it; he didn’t seem to care much. Thankfully we didn’t have to serve our dish to Chef.

So, to those 20 lobsters we butchered and possibly tortured on Tuesday, I send a prayer to you. May your afterlife be better than your last days with us!

P.S. despite, you were very delicious.

Browse Culinary Arts Schools & Colleges

Refine School Matches
Hide filters
  • SUBJECT

    See More

  • DEGREE

    See More

  • PROGRAM TYPE

  • START TIME

    LOCATION
    Please enter valid US or Canada Zip.
            Results open in new window

            Searching Searching ...

            Matching School Ads
            5 Program(s) Found
            • Alumni have appeared in reality competition shows such as Top Chef and Project Runway.
            • Has a team of about 4,000 faculty members focused on helping students tap opportunities in a marketplace driven by ideas.
            • Offers programs in design, media arts, fashion, and culinary.
            • Provides program coordinators who work with students to ensure they have the learning materials, assignments, facilities, and faculty to get the most out of the program.
            • Over 50 campus locations nationwide.
            Good for Working Adults
            • Flexible Scheduling
            • Financial Aid
            • Transferable Credits
            5 Program(s) Found
            • Hands-on culinary education with focused attention on each student
            • An ACCSC School of Excellence with multiple “Best Vocational Cooking School” awards*
            • 15,000 graduates, including celebrities like Bobby Flay, David Chang, and Christina Tosi*
            • Programs in Culinary Entrepreneurship, Professional Culinary Arts, Professional Pastry Arts, and much more
            • Campuses in New York and Silicon Valley with nearby housing available
            Show more [+]
            4 Program(s) Found
            • Gives students the opportunity to earn their associate’s degree in the culinary arts field in less than 15 months or bachelor’s degree in the food service management field in 2.5 years through their year-round schedule.
            • Located in Norfolk and Newport News, Virginia.
            • Offers externship experiences to students for experience in the field.
            • Hosts regular career fairs for employer recruitment.
            • Has student housing available.
            • Accredited by the Commission on Colleges of the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools (SACSCOC).
            Show more [+]
            • Ranked among the Best Online Bachelor’s Programs in 2015 by U.S. News and World Report.
            • Lets undergrad students try classes before paying any tuition.
            • Has an average class sizes of 18 for undergraduate and 13 for graduate-level courses.
            • Offers numerous scholarship opportunities that can help students save up to $750 per term on their tuition.
            • Tends to educate degree-seeking online and campus-based students who are adult learners with families and students who work while pursuing higher education.
            Show more [+]
            Good for Working Adults
            • Online Courses
            • Flexible Scheduling
            • Financial Aid
            • Transferable Credits
            5 Program(s) Found
            • Received the 2015 and 2013 “Cooking School of the Year” Award of Excellence from the International Association of Culinary Professionals (IACP).
            • Accredited by the Accrediting Commission of Career Schools and Colleges (ACCSC).
            • Externship opportunities are available at numerous famous New York City restaurants.
            • Campus is located near downtown Manhattan, within walking distance of many popular attractions such as the Radio City Music Hall.
            Show more [+]
            Good for Working Adults
            • Flexible Scheduling
            • Financial Aid
            2 Program(s) Found
            • Ranked among the Best Colleges in the South in 2015 by U.S. News and World Report.
            • Ranked the 13th  Best College for Veterans in 2015 by U.S. News and World Report.
            • A private institution founded in 1977 with a current total undergraduate enrollment of over 15,00.
            • Its student-faculty ratio is 12:1, and 89.3% of classes have fewer than 20 students.
            • Has students attend one class at a time to ensure easy access to faculty and a more hands-on education.
            Show more [+]
            3 Program(s) Found
            • A part of the Select Education Group (SEG).
            • Offers several scholarship and financial aid opportunities for students who qualify.
            • California campuses accredited by the Accrediting Commission of Career Schools and Colleges (ACCSC), and accreditation for the Salem campus from the Accrediting Council for Continuing Education and Training (ACCET).
            • 4 Campuses located in Clovis, Modesto, and Redding in California, and Salem, Oregon.
            Show more [+]
            Good for Working Adults
            • Accredited
            • Flexible Scheduling
            • Financial Aid
            • Transferable Credits