Learn to dice onions, and you shall be great

Monday marked the beginning of the new semester, and for me, my first actual cooking class. Sure, I have one semester of baking under my belt, but this class, which our school calls Quantity I, is what I had been waiting for since I was 18. Needless to say, I was a little excited and anxious to get started.

Background: When I was a senior in high school, it was a toss up between art school or culinary school. Art school won out, and I’ve been working in the design and marketing industry for, gulp, just about 19 years now. Culinary school was something I always wanted to do, and I finally found a program that fit my budget and schedule.

OK, so back to Monday…I hate being late, so I arrived about 20 minutes early. Eventually, the entire class settled in, and I noticed about 60% were not in their chef coats, did not have aprons, toques, knives or their book. As I’m sitting there in my uniform with book, notebook and pen, I’m disgusted, appalled, and ready to label them all young, stupid and clearly not serious about becoming a chef.

Chef began his lecture. He was in a great mood, rested, excited about the semester. He let the 60% of rule breakers roll right off his back without skipping a beat, and addressed the syllabus and required attire, “If you show up without your coat, hat, apron, book, or KNIVES, you get a zero for the day. You might as well go home.” Brilliant, thank you, Chef!

I was quietly laughing at them all. I glanced over at my rolling culinary case, still laughing, and gasped. I literally sucked all of the oxygen out of the room. My face turned flush and I called myself every derogatory word I knew.

I forgot my knives. I had measuring cups, spoons, a cutting board, tongs, microplane – you name it, I had it. But I didn’t have my knives. My knives were home, all comfy on the corner of my bed, waiting for me to take them to culinary school. I had walked right out the door without them.

My focus shifted to how the heck I was going to magically make my knives appear, without creating a buzz. I’m an A student, an over achiever – I never mess up like this. After some noodling, I decided my best bet was to get myself over to the bookstore, without Chef noticing, and buy a new French knife and paring knife. Totally doable. We took a short break, and out the door I went. I passed my lab partner from last semester, “R,” and “Boy who talks too much” on my way – they stopped me dead in my tracks.

“You’re not going to buy new knives – that’s ridiculous,” R said. Just use ours – we’re not using them today.”

“I couldn’t, I shouldn’t,” I thought to myself. “R” interrupted my thought bubble, “I used your knives and equipment all last semester – I owe you anyhow!” I looked at “R” and said, “You know what, you’re right! Where’s your knife roll?”

Crisis averted.

The rest of the day Chef took us on a tour of the kitchen, showed us how to use the dishwasher in the dish room, and did a few demos on the basics.

As with baking class, I was surprised at how much I already knew. I was the only one in class who knew how to hold a knife properly, and part of the minority of students who knew how to dice an onion; how to make tomato concasse; how to chop a carrot. It felt good.

I never did need my knives, but I’m glad I had a back up plan, and glad Chef didn’t have to lump me in with the ”bad” half of the class.

First homework assignment: Dice a bag of onions.

To quote Chef this week, “If you can learn how to dice an onion properly, make a proper roux and all the other basics I’m going to teach you in this class, you’ll be a great chef.”

I hope Vidalias are on sale this week.

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            5 Program(s) Found
            • Alumni have appeared in reality competition shows such as Top Chef and Project Runway.
            • Has a team of about 4,000 faculty members focused on helping students tap opportunities in a marketplace driven by ideas.
            • Offers programs in design, media arts, fashion, and culinary.
            • Provides program coordinators who work with students to ensure they have the learning materials, assignments, facilities, and faculty to get the most out of the program.
            • Over 50 campus locations nationwide.
            Good for Working Adults
            • Flexible Scheduling
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            • Transferable Credits
            1 Program(s) Found
            • Ranked among the Best Online Bachelor’s Programs in 2015 by U.S. News and World Report.
            • Lets undergrad students try classes before paying any tuition.
            • Has an average class sizes of 18 for undergraduate and 13 for graduate-level courses.
            • Offers numerous scholarship opportunities that can help students save up to $750 per term on their tuition.
            • Tends to educate degree-seeking online and campus-based students who are adult learners with families and students who work while pursuing higher education.
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            Good for Working Adults
            • Online Courses
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            • Received the 2015 and 2013 “Cooking School of the Year” Award of Excellence from the International Association of Culinary Professionals (IACP).
            • Accredited by the Accrediting Commission of Career Schools and Colleges (ACCSC).
            • Externship opportunities are available at numerous famous New York City restaurants.
            • Campus is located near downtown Manhattan, within walking distance of many popular attractions such as the Radio City Music Hall.
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            Good for Working Adults
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            1 Program(s) Found

            Lackawanna College is the premier, private, accredited two-year college serving the people of northeastern Pennsylvania. With a focus on keeping higher education affordable and accessible to our immediate community, Lackawanna draws 80 percent of its student population right from our own region.

            With a main campus situated in downtown Scranton, Lackawanna’s expanding footprint also includes satellite centers in Hawley, Hazleton, New Milford, and Towanda.

            1 Program(s) Found
            • Preparing individuals for career opportunities, technology training, and certifications for the medical, culinary arts, HVAC repair, legal, and cosmetology fields since 1934.
            • Has many lecture classes with a maximum of a 30:1 student to teacher ratio, and most lab classes with a maximum of an 18:1 student to teacher ratio.
            • Accredited by the Accrediting Council of Independent Colleges and Schools.
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            Virginia College , Chattanooga
            • Instructors are typically real-world professionals with many years of experience in their career fields.
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            • Presents the full tuition cost up front. In most cases, even textbooks are included in the total price.
            • Provides career services associates to help students review their resume, provide career counseling, help with job searches, and more.
            • Has 27 campus locations across the southern United States, plus offers online degree programs.
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            • Offers career-focused programs in allied health, business, and computer technology, and more.
            • On-the-job training available through externships, internships, and clinical placements.
            • Graduates in good standing can take refresher sessions in courses at no additional cost.
            • Day and evening class options are available for flexible scheduling.
            • Accredited by the Accrediting Council for Independent Colleges and Schools (ACICS).
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