Week 2: More Quick Breads and Cooking with Boys who Talk about their [Bleep]

Week 2, quick breads – still. I realized after my muffin high wore off last week that I was going to get bored quickly. And here I am, bored. I wasn't looking forward to class last night. I already know how to make quick breads. I've been making quick breads since I was seven. I get it. I'm searching for those nuggets of knowledge that the cookbooks don't tell you about; the nuggets that make you a better chef. Instead, I'm stuck in first grade learning that flour and water make goo if you don't measure properly and/or over mix. Do they have advanced placement for culinary school...isn't there a test I can take to move on to level II or III?

Chef constantly repeated during lecture, "That's enough - you don't need to know any more at this point. I don't want to make your brains explode." Hey, Chef! Please, make my brain explode!

So this week my group was tasked with banana bread and streusel muffins. And the divide and conquer method we agreed to use for our mise seemed to be working well. We whipped through the banana bread and had it in the oven without a hitch - we were a perfectly orchestrated, well oiled machine. Then, somewhere between clean up and recipe 2, we fell apart. Chef only gave us one recipe sheet that we had to share. R took control, so I wasn't able to gently dissect and break up the ingredient list into wet, dry, and equipment for the group like I had done for the banana bread. The result? A bit more chaos than my control-freak self would have liked. I'll spare you the details, but the lack of time spent getting organized cost us the "best ever muffins" award. They were mixed incorrectly, ended up spilling over and spreading in the oven, and had flat tops instead of the gorgeous height our muffins from last week had.

I was disappointed but not upset. R learned a valuable lesson this week in following directions, and that's what cooking school is all about. We plated "upside down" streusel muffins. They weren't pretty, but still tasted great.

The entire class sat together and enjoyed about 3-times the daily allowance of carbs in a matter of minutes. And with the breaking of quick breads, the boys (yes, boys) let down their guard and started peacock-feathering about their latest female college conquests. Hot, babe, damn fine, a few words in Spanish I didn't understand, butter-her-muffin, and a baker’s-dozen of other miscellaneous phrases pertaining to sex that I can't repeat (and haven't heard since I was twenty-five) were volleyed in the room. Each phrase was followed by a quick side-note, under-the-breath apology to me, "Sorry you had to hear that."

I get it. You have a penis that makes you talk like an ass. No need for apologies. Just try harder next class and don't screw up the recipe.

Browse Baking and Pastry Arts Schools & Colleges

Refine School Matches
Hide filters
  • SUBJECT

    See More

  • DEGREE

    See More

  • PROGRAM TYPE

  • START TIME

    LOCATION
    Please enter valid US or Canada Zip.
            Results open in new window

            Searching Searching ...

            Matching School Ads
            5 Program(s) Found
            • Alumni have appeared in reality competition shows such as Top Chef and Project Runway.
            • Has a team of about 4,000 faculty members focused on helping students tap opportunities in a marketplace driven by ideas.
            • Offers programs in design, media arts, fashion, and culinary.
            • Provides program coordinators who work with students to ensure they have the learning materials, assignments, facilities, and faculty to get the most out of the program.
            • Over 50 campus locations nationwide.
            Show more [+]
            Good for Working Adults
            • Flexible Scheduling
            • Financial Aid
            • Transferable Credits
            1 Program(s) Found
            • Ranked among the Best Online Bachelor’s Programs in 2015 by U.S. News and World Report.
            • Lets undergrad students try classes before paying any tuition.
            • Has an average class sizes of 18 for undergraduate and 13 for graduate-level courses.
            • Offers numerous scholarship opportunities that can help students save up to $750 per term on their tuition.
            • Tends to educate degree-seeking online and campus-based students who are adult learners with families and students who work while pursuing higher education.
            Show more [+]
            • Online Courses
            • Financial Aid
            5 Program(s) Found
            • Received the 2013 “Cooking School of the Year” Award of Excellence from the International Association of Culinary Professionals (IACP).
            • Accredited by the Accrediting Commission of Career Schools and Colleges (ACCSC).
            • Externship opportunities are available at numerous famous New York City restaurants.
            • Campus is located near downtown Manhattan, within walking distance of many popular attractions such as the Radio City Music Hall.
            Show more [+]
            Good for Working Adults
            • Flexible Scheduling
            • Financial Aid
            3 Program(s) Found
            • Culinary Arts program includes the 3-week Farm To Table® Experience, where students gain a direct, in-depth look at where food comes from.
            • Numerous scholarship opportunities and financial aid are available to students who qualify.
            • Accreditation from the Accrediting Council for Continuing Education and Training (ACCET), and the Council on Occupational Education (COE).
            • 2 campuses located in Boulder, Colorado and Austin, Texas.
            Show more [+]
            Good for Working Adults
            • Flexible Scheduling
            • Financial Aid
            2 Program(s) Found
            • Ranked among the Best Colleges in the South in 2015 by U.S. News and World Report.
            • Ranked the 13th  Best College for Veterans in 2015 by U.S. News and World Report.
            • A private institution founded in 1977 with a current total undergraduate enrollment of over 15,00.
            • Its student-faculty ratio is 11:1, and 89.3% of classes have fewer than 20 students.
            • Has students attend one class at a time to ensure easy access to faculty and a more hands-on education.
            Show more [+]
            3 Program(s) Found
            • Has been training students in the culinary arts since 1946.
            • Teaches hands-on culinary training in French, Asian, Mediterranean, Latin and American cooking, along with professional baking and pastry techniques.
            • Helps students gain professional skills in culinary management.
            • Offers an Italian Culinary Arts program where students get to externship in Italy.
            • Its instructors are respected chefs who put their dedication and life experiences into their instruction.
            Show more [+]
            • Financial Aid
            4 Program(s) Found
            • Gives students the opportunity to earn their associate’s degree in the culinary arts field in less than 15 months or bachelor’s degree in the food service management field in 2.5 years through their year-round schedule.
            • Located in Norfolk and Newport News, Virginia.
            • Offers externship experiences to students for experience in the field.
            • Hosts regular career fairs for employer recruitment.
            • Has student housing available.
            • Accredited by the Commission on Colleges of the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools (SACSCOC).
            Show more [+]